Sunday is the BIG day! Not just the DUE date, but the day that she is going to be induced. They are going to induce her on Sunday and if things don’t start, they will do a C-section (:( these are hard on baby… and mom!) Ryan and I have plans to leave on Saturday around noon. We were told by our lawyer that we need our prayer warriors to be praying because  the birth mom has definitely had some ups and downs in coming to this decision. We need to go with guarded hearts knowing that there is ALWAYS a risk involved when it comes to adoption. But we also need to understand that with great risk often comes great reward. We are PRAYING HARD that all will go as planned, and we appreciate you joining us in our prayers.

She did confirm that she wants us to be at the hospital for the birth so we can be there for baby as soon as he is born; however, she does not want us in the room with her. Our adoption is closed, meaning that we will not meet them and they will not meet us. They do still want us to be open to meeting with them if they should change their minds. A closed adoption is not necessarily ideal in today’s day and age; however this is what mom and dad are requesting and we are going to respect their wishes.

So, things are a bit crazy at our house right now as you can probably imagine. Trying to clean before we leave, pack, get all things ready, etc. It’s a lot to think about. It’s a whirlwind, but IT’S AWESOME! I would be lying if I said that I was not a little bit nervous about the possibility of going there and coming back home without a baby. But, like our lawyer said, this is a risk with EVERY adoption.  Please pray with us. We know that God is good and HE has a plan!

AHHHH!!! Our baby is due on SUNDAY! We are SO excited and ready for this. We are finishing up all of the last minute preparations at the house (I’m going to post a picture of our Nursery bedding below) It’s weird for me having had my own kids and now not being pregnant but preping for baby none the less! I am sure it will all come back to me the second I see that beautiful baby boy. (I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t already It’s also a little strange waiting for “the call” instead of being the one who is going to make “the call” or have someone else make it for me!  But we are ready and waiting. We pray for this little boy and his birth mom and dad every single day. We pray that God’s plan will take place and that all will go well and we will be ready for everything that is about to happen.

I have heard that the most emotional part begins when the birth mom goes into labor. It is definitely an emotional rollercoaster for her; therefore, we have heard it is usually quite a rollercoaster for us too. There are all sorts of crazy thing that could happen, we won’t even try to think of all the possibilites, we will just leave that one up to the Big Guy upstairs. Ups and downs are nothing new to us, so we trust and pray that God will guide us through it all.

Adella is getting VERY excited for her new brother. She asks about him every day and wants to know if TODAY IS THE DAY that she gets to stay with grandpa and grandma while we pick up her brother. We have opted to have Marie and Greg watch Adella while we make the 15 and a half hour drive down to pick up our son. Ryan and I both decided that the drive on top of hotel stays would not be the best thing for Adella right now as far as consistency is concerned. Plus, a 15 hour drive home with a 3 1/2 year old and a newborn with a high stress level does not sound exciting for any of us. Adella doesn’t LOVE to watch TV like many kids do, so it could be hard to keep her occupied for that long. She knows that when we get back, we will be having a BIG party to celebrate her becoming a big sister again! AND if the time away from her gets to be too long, we will have someone fly down with her to see us! We know that it will all work out well.

Tonight we added a new addition to our house. Some of you might know that our cat Walter died last week.  I am not the biggest fan of cats; however, Walter was very special because we rescued him and his brother Donnie a couple of weeks before Case died. I didn’t realize how much of a connection I had with him until he was gone. I was actually more sad for Donnie because I know how it feels to lose someone you love. Whether people think it or not, I could tell that Donnie was missing his brother. He wandered around the house aimlessly meowing and meowing. So, tonight we adopted another little kitty into our house. We told Adella that she could name him and she picked out the name Salvation (cute, I know… I think it’s because of all the GT and the Halo Express CD’s she has been listening to.) We are going to call him Sal for short. So now instead of Walter and Donnie, we have Sal and Donnie. We are praying that they get along well. Donnie is a very dominant male cat; however, after losing his brother, he seems to be much more accepting of a new kitten in the house.

Anyway, that is all of my RANDOM thoughts for now. We will keep you updated

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little stressed about the fact that we could have a baby in the next few weeks. It’s not the baby that stresses me out, it’s everything leading up to that point! I’ve had my own children, so I know exactly what to expect when it comes to that, but the fact of the matter is that I have never adopted, so I have NO IDEA what to expect! Thinking about a 15 hour car drive to pick up our baby and then a week or two stay in a hotel with a newborn (SPENDY) stresses me out a little bit. Also, since there is as of right now no planned induction or C-section, we just have to wait for “the call” so we can’t really book a hotel or anything like that yet! I really need to remember to find my strength in Him! I know that He will take care of us all!

I will love You , oh Lord, My strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Ps 18.1-2)

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? (Ps 27.1)

We have been spending lots of time getting ready for a baby. It is crazy how I forgot how much stuff you need! We are getting everything lined up and ready to go so that when we get “the call” we can hop in the car and go. We opted not to fly because of all the STUFF that we would need to take for a potential 2 week stay in Louisiana. Lots of people have given us baby stuff, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I don’t know what we would do without you!

We have also been lining up as much breast milk as possible. I know to some of you this may sound weird; however, I feel very strong about breastfeeding children to give them the healthiest immune system ever. We have had a few VERY generous donors (THANK YOU!!!!) and are hoping to give our child as much breast milk as possible. We have a freezer in our car to take it down to Louisiana. (I know the first few weeks are the MOST important.)

I’ve had a baby before, but never when my family was extremely focused on natural health, so I feel like there are so many more things to think about this time around. Organic diapers (no chlorine), glass bottles (no toxins),  paraben free lotions, shampoos, etc (they’re TOXIC); raw goat milk (the closest to human breast milk)…. the list goes on and on and on. BUT I’m so excited I can hardly contain myself! I know that all of my stresses and organizational freakish type things, will all go away the second I see my beautiful baby boy. It will definitely make it all worth it. God is Good!

We are one day closer to having a baby! The lawyer said that A showed up for her counseling meeting today, so that was GREAT news. Both L and A are very much wanting a closed adoption. Therefore, at this point, we will not meet them or speak with them at any point and time unless they would change their mind. Her due date is July 11, but the doctor is saying that the baby should be expected any time between July 7 and July 19. So, Ryan, Adella, and I are getting our house ready for baby! On Sunday we took out our stroller and power washed it, cleaned the cars out and washed them, and got out all of the baby stuff that we have left at our house (not a lot that isn’t girl stuff.)

We are planning on driving down to pick up the baby because of all of the ’stuff’ that will have to come with us (car-seat, pack n play, diapers, clothes, stroller, etc.) We will more then  likely be staying there for a minimum of a week, but they say to allow 7 to 10 business days for our paperwork to go through once the baby has been discharged from the hospital. We will then get the verbal OK from both state capitals to have the baby in our custody until the paperwork is approved. Once it is approved, we can leave the state and come back home!!! I never knew how much was involved with the adoption process…. it is CRAZY and we need to be prepared for everything and anything. Anyway, that is where we are right now. They aren’t inducing or scheduling a C-section right now so we are just going to wait for the call!

Thanks for praying. We have definitely felt it!

Today we signed our first set of papers! Of course that doesn’t really mean anything except that we will pay for services rendered, but it does make it seem a LOT more real. It is crazy to think that our baby is due in a little over 3 weeks (July 11) and that our baby could be born any time between now and then! We are very excited, nervous, thankful, and hopeful about the situation. We know that God knows what is in store, so we simply need to TRUST IN HIM!

It does get a little nerve racking when they begin talking about the money that would be lost if this adoption failed. However, we need to trust that God has a plan and lean on Him when we are feeling weak. So from here on out, prayers would be that all goes smoothly. As of right now, this is considered a closed adoption; however,  L & A did say that they don’t want us in the room, but they want us to be prepared in case they change their mind. Our lawyer said today that the next part is kind of going to be a roller coaster (as far as where she wants us, when she wants us there, how involved she wants to be etc.) As of right now we know that she does not anticipate wanting to hold the baby right away after he is born. She does want us to know that if she feels as though she needs to see the baby, she wants them to bring him into her room. All of this is normal and could definitely change. We are new to this process, so right now we are just TRUSTING and holding on for the ride!

We will keep you up to date as far as where we are in the process and if anything is happening! Thanks for praying!

WELL…… we got the call that we have been waiting for. Birth mom and dad, we’ll call them L & A, have decided to continue on with the adoption process with Ryan and I as the adoptive parents of their baby!!!! We are extremely overjoyed to hear this news! They have, however, decided to continue to hide this from their parents because they are afraid they will encourage them to parent. Prayers that either everything goes as planned, or that if their parents do find out, they will be supportive. This isn’t over yet by any means. We just got the news around 5:00 today and I wanted to make sure to share it with everyone right away. A is due on either July 11 or July 17. We will keep you all updated as to what is going on with their “birth plan” and where Ryan and I are at with our travel plans! God is good!

Well, we still haven’t heard anything about the birth parents making their decision. Needless to say, we are losing more hope every day. However, we have decided that we are giving the situation until the end of the week before we think that they just blew us off and are ignoring the inevitable of telling us that they are going to keep their child. Either way, waiting is hard. We pray every day that God will bring our child to us, but to say that God is teaching us a lesson in patience and control feels like a bit of an understatement right now. We know and remember that it is ALL in His time.

Our lawyer has told us that they will continue to present us with situations that “match” our criteria. They have said this ever since the parents have been wavering on their decision. What is a little disheartening is the fact that since this match, no situations have come up that match our criteria (mainly due to our budget.) I can’t give up hope or lose faith, but some days, it is definitely hard. It’s hard to not get all excited when you hear that you are possibly getting a child and then get sad when you find nothing out for a very long time. We continue to pray that mom and dad will make their decision and that we will find out sooner rather then later.

We still do not have any news on our tentative “match.” We called our lawyer on Friday at the end of the day to check in and she let us know that the birth mom’s lawyer emailed her to say that she has not heard from mom and dad. She will call them on Monday afternoon if she has not heard from them by then to see if we can get an idea as to which direction that they are going to go.

So, for right now we are asking for prayers. Prayers for peace as to whatever the outcome may be. Prayers that mom and dad will be strong in their decision. Prayers that the best decision for this little boy will be made. Just prayers in general! I guess if I have learned one thing from this “waiting game” it is that I’m not really waiting at all, I simply have more time to pray. It is, however, at times difficult to not be frustrated by the situation. God is definitely teaching us yet another lesson in patience… His time, not ours!

So, we got the update today, and we are still waiting. However, that being said, I feel as though today things went well. For the past couple of weeks we have been sitting and wondering what in the heck is going on, but not really knowing anything. Last night (as I shared) the craziness got to me, so today I emailed our lawyer and asked if mom and dad were for sure meeting with their lawyer today. She said that mom had called to confirm the appointment, so that was a good feeling.

Later in the day I received an email update from our lawyer as they had just gotten off of a conference call with birth mom and dad’s lawyer. Their lawyer said that mom and dad are a “very cute, very confused couple.” They have been thinking for the past two weeks that they would find a couple (us) to raise the baby for about two years and then have an arrangement that they would take the child back. The lawyer today told them that that is not really possible, and definitely not a good idea because both the parents and the child would get attached to each other in those two years. She then shared a story with them about how Moses was raised by Pharaoh’s family in order to fulfill the purpose that God designed for him. She said that it was hard on his mother but what was best for Moses. She asked them questions about how they would handle certain situations if they were to parent the child, and questions about adoption or someone else raising the child. They had a lot to think about. Their lawyer sent them home to think on it for a few days and then get back to her as to which direction that they are going to go. We should know more within a couple of days. If their lawyer has not heard from them in the next few days, she is going to call them to check in with them.

We ask that you continue to pray for birth mom and dad as they think and make their decision. Pray that we would not go crazy in the mean time, and pray most of all that whatever is best for that beautiful little boy would happen. If this is our child, we know that God will bring him home.  Birth Mom is due on July 17, so if this is our baby, it could all happen very soon. We appreciate your prayers.

For now, we wait and PRAY!

In choir we used to sing a warm up song that went something like this. “I am slowly going crazy 1 2 3 4 5 6 switch. Crazy going slowly am I 6 5 4 3 2 1 switch!”  Well, that’s exactly how I feel right now. I’ve been sitting on the Internet all night researching adoption, reading people’s adoption stories, looking for available situations, etc. As if it is going to help my “waiting” process go any faster. I feel as though I am beginning to go crazy!!!! This is nothing new to me, but I thought blogging may help get some of my eager anticipation/ anxious nerves out of my system. It always helped me when we were dealing with Case being sick.

So, here I blog. We still have not heard whether or not the birth mom and dad actually have an appointment with the lawyer tomorrow or not. We may find something out tomorrow, and we may not. The more time that goes by, the more discouraged I get. It is easy to sit and say that “God will bring the right baby to us when it is time. If this is the baby for us, that’s awesome, and if it’s not, we trust His plan.” BUT that doesn’t mean that our hearts don’t break going through something like this. The emotional roller coaster that adoption takes you on is definitely nothing short of CRAZY!!!! I guess that would describe why I am feeling the way I am right now. I think I’m climbing a very big HILL on my roller coaster and I can’t see how steep of a plunge I am about to take!!!

“I AM SLOWLY GOING CRAZY, 1 2 3 4 5 6 SWITCH. CRAZY GOING SLOWLY AM I 6 5 4 3 2 1 SWITCH….. I AM SLOWLY GOING CRAZY, 1 2 3 4 5 6 SWITCH. CRAZY GOING SLOWLY AM I 6 5 4 3 2 1 SWITCH….. I AM SLOWLY GOING CRAZY, 1 2 3 4 5 6 SWITCH. CRAZY GOING SLOWLY AM I 6 5 4 3 2 1 SWITCH….. I AM SLOWLY GOING CRAZY, 1 2 3 4 5 6 SWITCH. CRAZY GOING SLOWLY AM I 6 5 4 3 2 1 SWITCH!!!!!!!!”

May my mind shut off and sleep come soon. GOOD night my friends!